In my recent leadership workshops, we have been discussing the difficult conversation. The conversation that we know could end up fulfilling our fears like, relationship breakdown, judgement, uncomfortable repercussions.
So, we avoid them and allow the behaviour or opinion to reign supreme.
“A behaviour unchallenged is a behaviour affirmed.”
The difficult conversation is really the necessary conversation minus the underlying potential conflict. It takes courage to confront the offender. To be able to weigh up the risk verses reward and then apply a strategy to achieve the reward for the betterment of the team.
I believe the crux of the necessary conversation is to dissolve the conflict by
being curious.
To work towards understanding where the real barrier lies so the conversation is not about the behaviour or opinion, but how the leader can support the change that is necessary to shift the offending mindset.
Being curious does not come easy. We accept more of our environmental constraints without question.
“If it has always been done this way, then who am I to question?”
“If the leader says so, then it must be right?”
It is similar to the very old adage, “Children should be seen and not heard.”
This is so wrong today. Being heard is exactly what leaders should encourage. Which brings us back to being curious.
If we can foster a culture of curious people who don’t fear asking questions for understanding, then the difficult question can be diffused through curiosity, leading to understanding, then collaboration of an outcome.
As Zen Master, Thich Nhat Hanh stated, “Understanding is Loves other name.”
And the world could do with more love.
How are you nurturing curiosity in your team?
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