Toastmasters International has its 100th anniversary coming in October 2024 which will be celebrated by 280,000 members in 15,800 clubs in 149 countries. It is not a place where you clink glasses of alcohol and toast to absent friends. It is an organisation built on the fundamentals of communication through public speaking learning how to get your message across to your audience. Be them singular or stadium. I have been a member for the past 7 years and have built friendships with a diverse group of fellow speakers.
Like all organisations, there is an element of competition available to those members who want to get outside their comfort zone to challenge what is possible within. This is me. I am interested in seeing what is possible of myself and reflect on the barriers and strengths to see how far I can go.
There are four competition domains: International Speech, Humorous Speech, Evaluation Task and Table Topics. Recently I entered the Table Topics and Humorous Speech Club Level contest.
It is in the Table Topics contest that I noted a Leadership Skill that is talked about, but not practiced. And the difference between winning and losing is based on this one skill- LISTENING.
You see, Table Topics is giving a 1 – 2-minute speech on a topic that is literally given to you 5 seconds before hand. It is great for quick thinkers and excellent listeners. The format works like this:
The contestants are ushed outside (so they can’t hear the question) with the first person staying behind.
The first contestant is asked the question and then immediately gives their speech.
Each contestant takes their turn hearing the same question for the first time.
I was number 3 contestant out of 6. I had the opportunity to listen to numbers 4, 5 & 6. Someone asked later how I won the competition. “I listened to understand, not to respond.”
And here is the rub. Six people were asked the exact same question and gave six different answers as they perceived the question. The problem is that 5 of them didn’t answer the question. You gain points if your speech answers the question. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? But it is not. Because we are not listening to understand, but to respond.
Test yourself. What would be your answer to the question:
“If you were a car, what would you be and why?”
Here is the gist of the speaker’s responses,
They talked about their favourite car.
The talked about their passion for cars.
They talked about what a car can do for you.
They talked about how they can fix a car.
This is not about the speakers, but what I learnt about myself which is a strength – to listen.
My response was that:
I would be a red car as they go faster.
I would be a 4 -wheel drive to visit high mountains and warm coastlines.
I would be a 7-seater to carry friends who love to talk while travelling.
The magic words were, “would you be.”
Why is LISTENING an important skill set? Empathy and trust building relies on the leader connecting to the person at their place of need not their place of response. The leader needs to have a clear interpretation of the speaker, so the speaker feels HEARD.
Leaders are in the game of modelling VASH – Valued Accepted Safe Heard.
LISTEN to WIN
How are your listening skills?
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